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FRIDAY // SAN ANTONIO
Dallas ⇢ Austin ⇢ San Antonio: 4 hours, 15 minutes
Friday morning I woke up in Dallas and was out the door by 8am. Three hours and a liter of Gatorade later I was at my friend Brooke’s house in Austin long enough to use her toilet, squeeze her dogs’ faces, and pluck her from her house. Off to San Antonio for a day of doing little of what we’d actually planned but a lot of day drinking! (As only the best of friendships do.)
THE ALAMO
The Alamo is an American tourist attraction I never thought I’d find myself at. Like Mount Rushmore or the Hoover Dam or that place with the Cadillacs sticking up out of the ground–it’s just too far out of the way and not worth a trip of its own. So when I saw on a map how close it was to Austin I decided “it’s now or never!” And also, “You can pretend you’re on Miss Congeniality!”
Do y’all know what the Alamo is? I didn’t. All I knew is that you are supposed to “remember it.” I also thought we’d be driving out to the desert somewhere but as we drove through downtown San Antonio Brooke says to me, “OK… the Alamo is going to be right up here on the right.” HUH? In the city? Next to these skyscrapers? Every photo I’d seen of the Alamo looks like the one above. See? Nowhere. Right in the middle of it.
Here are some quick facts on the history of the Alamo that took me no less than two hours to come up with: [Don’t underestimate the sacrifices I make for you.]
- Founded in 1744 as a Roman Catholic mission dedicated to the education of Native Americans after their conversion to Christianity. “Hello! My name is Father Antonio de San Buenaventura y Olivares. And I would like to share with you the most amazing book.”
- Abandoned in 1793 then turned into a fortress ten years later
- Served as San Antonio’s first hospital between 1806-1812. “More bandages! We need more bandages!” ⇠ Friends reference… anyone?
- This place didn’t even have a roof for a long time…
- In 1835, as part of Texas’s war of independence from Mexico, 200 volunteer Texan soldiers (including Davy Crockett) defended the Alamo for thirteen days until the thousands of Mexican soldiers overpowered them.
- Texas may have lost the battle at the Alamo but they ultimately won their independence later that year. But this you already knew because I didn’t mention having to use my passport to get into Texas.
- It would be another 165 years before the contestants of the Miss United States pageant would be threatened by an embittered serial killer known only as the “Citizen.”
On touring the Alamo:
- Admission is free! Don’t be like us and try to hand money to just any ol’ person on the sidewalk with brochures.
- It will take you about eight minutes to walk through the Alamo. Eight.
- No photography is allowed inside. There is a guy at the door whose only job is to repeat this over and over and over. He probably has other duties.
- Pressed for time, we parked in the lot across the street for $15 (where we stayed for a few hours).
- Hours: 9am – 5:30pm
- You can get those ‘coon skin caps you came for at the gift shop next door.
While at the Alamo I did learn something extremely interesting. I mean, just simply mind-blowing. Brooke, seemingly unaware of my love for him, told me how Phil Collins, of all people, owns the world’s largest collection of priceless Alamo artifacts. I thought surely she was mistaken, but here it is.
THE MISSIONS
So San Antonio has these missions. They’re all really old, still operational today, and, along with the Alamo, make up a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Brooke and I had a mission too–to see them. However, after leaving the Alamo an out-of-nowhere torrential downpour had us running to, and subsequently stuck in, the first bar we came to on the Riverwalk. Missions? Impossible.
At about 5:00 the rain let up, the sun came out, we paid our tabs (at the german Biergarten complete with lederhosened bartenders and dirndled servers whose official slogan is “Prost, y’all!” and I swear we didn’t end up there on purpose–some things just have a way of happening… to me) and set off to see us some missions. It wasn’t until we arrived at the first one at about 5:20 that we learned the missions all close at 5. [wah-wahhhh] I wanted to climb over the wall and drop down into the church from the dome ceiling, Tom Cruise style, but THIS IS WHY I HAVE FRIENDS WHO KEEP ME GROUNDED.
Instead we just walked around the perimeter looking sketchy as can be trying to imagine what the inside looked like and if I have drop cables long enough to safely reach the floor. Despite the fact that these missions had JUST closed, we were still the only humans in sight. Maybe the rain kept everyone away? Or maybe being alone in old churches just really freaks me out…
Here’s what I could dig up on the San Antonio Missions… this message will self destruct in five sentences…
MISSION CONCEPCIÓN
I thought those were panties on a closeline but maybe they’re actually flags?
- Established in 1731… took a while to build… finally dedicated in 1755.
- It’s the oldest unrestored stone church in the United States.
- The interior is covered in beautiful, colorful frescoes… so I’ve heard.
- It closes at 5… so I’ve learned the hard way.
MISSION SAN JOSÉ
- The San Antonio Missions’ visitor center is located here with a museum, bookstore, and film on the history of the missions.
- It’s the largest of all the missions in San Antonio.
- Established in 1720
- Not visited by Ashley Smith in 2016
MISSION ESPADA
- Established in 1731
- The original mission also housed a blacksmith’s shop, rooms for spinning wheels and weaving, and a baking kiln.
- It was mostly destroyed by a fire in 1826. I think we solved that mystery–I’m lookin’ at you kiln.
MISSION SAN JUAN
- Also established in 1731
- Surrounded by farmlands that helped create a self-sustaining community
- There’s a self-guided nature trail behind the mission that you can follow to the river if you’re not afraid of being all alone in the woods.
- There’s a chance this mission is run by cats. Here’s a picture of them kicking back after shutting the place down for the day:
Just so many cats. And not a one of them wanted to be snuggled.
Please see: this helpful map and not the Google Maps app. There’s a chance you might end up on your way to Southern California.
San Antonio ⇢ Austin: 1 hour, 15 minutes
Check out more blogs from this experienced traveler at My Wanderlusty Life
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